Friday, January 21, 2011

Biology and adoption... an ongoing conversation

Whenever the opportunity arises to talk about the facts of how
Sam and Adam came to us we use it.

Unfortunately it most often comes while we are in public.
Usually from an inquisitive cashier.

Now I don't fault anyone for the curiosity or lack of knowledge of the correct adoption terms.
There was once a time that I might have used the word "real" when meaning biological.
So I am not upset by the questioning.

I answer the questions using the correct terms and move on. Most people are fascinated by our story and it is a great door opener to talk about our great God and how blessed we are.

So why would I get mad?

I just seize the opportunity.

And as soon as we walked away from the cashier at Sam's Club today and sat with our pizza and hot dog I followed up with Sam and Adam about what they had just heard.

The cashier asked me if they were "real" brother and sister.
I told her they were brother and sister but were not biologically related.

She asked a few more questions about their adoptions and I answered her questions.
She told me how wonderful that was and I told her how wonderful they are.

As Sam and Adam sat across from me eating their lunch I dove in.

"Sam, how do feel about what the cashier said?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"You guys are "real" brother and sister. You know that right?"

"Yes Mama"

Staring into two sets of beautiful brown eyes I go on.

"You both have different birth mothers, but once you were both adopted you are forever brother and sister. What God binds on earth is also bound in heaven. You will always be with your forever family."

Yes, right in the middle of Sam's club we are talking about birth mothers.

"So Adam do you understand? I am your "real" mother. Sometimes people use the word real when they mean biological. I am not your biological mother. I adopted you but I am your real and forever mom. God said so."

Adam- "I don't want any other mom but you."

Hugs, kisses and tears all right there at Sam's Club.

Sometimes it hits me hard what these guys will always have to deal with. The questions from others will always be a part of their life. I am also reminded that they will themselves have questions as they grow. Some of those questions will not have answers, some answers will be complicated, and some answers will come by traveling to the other side of the world.

I hope the love of a family eases some of those difficult answers.

By the way, one year ago today we were somewhere over the
North Pole on our way to Beijing to get Adam.

Over the next two weeks I will be remembering each day of our trip and posting pictures.

One year has flown by!

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1 comment:

  1. How beautiful. I also love those opportunities to share the message of our Lord!